Packed and Loaded.....

So after a few mishaps with the Penske Truck....NO HEAT, my poor dad driving down from Spokane...talk about freezing! Anyway Penske got it fixed and we finally started loading 3.00pm or so, we had intended.....BUT we are DONE and Loaded and ready to go.....I just need to load up Bessie the Burban in the morning....and we are off....So hopefully we will head out around 7.00am....Well I am off to get some sleep.....

Wednesday Already??....Sweet!

So its Wednesday. I can not believe it, the girls and I will see Daddy in 1 week.....WOOHOO! We are all excited. What I am not excited about is the snow storm that is supposed to hit here today around 4-5ish....and may continue into the morning. My poor Dad will have to drive the Rental Truck down from Spokane, lets just hope the roads are clear.....The good news is that Friday looks clear.....so we should be all good to Twin Falls.....Road Trip.....I just love it...

As you already know we have been busy just doing last minute stuff....Laundry and Packing our Bags.....Today we all went and got our last Haircuts at Headquarters for awhile.....I sure love that place....Niki and Fonda are great....I love Non-Chain hair salons.....they just seem more personal.....you are not just another number in their chair......anyway....the girls were really good I think this is their 3rd haircut.....Niki was able to give MJ some style to her hair......both of their cuts turned out great, as did mine (just a trim).....

Shawn has been busy too getting the house ready and everything lined up for when we get there....We purchased a new washer/dryer, so stoked. I think I am actually excited to do laundry. I know, completely insane of me! They got delivered on Sunday and I guess they look awesome, we ended up getting front loading pearl grey LG's.......Today our new Refrigerator gets delivered.....there wasn't one that came with the house....which is fine because I enjoyed picking one out....Shawn also got our family gym membership all set up at Spectrum Athletic Club, he gets a major discount through work and they have so many activities for the kids while you work out.....Its pretty awesome to have a family membership.....I guess I will be able to see the kids in the Kid Zone, from any TV in the gym by entering the right channel and they even have screens in the woman's lockeroom to check on the kids.....and the Kid Zone is HUGE!.....They even have an infant room.....It will be nice to go as a family and work out......Good habits for the whole family to get into!!! I will tell you more about the gym when I get down there......Just so excited!!!

Ok so Lila just woke up and is throwing toys at me.....Guess I better go.....I will keep you updated......Later....

Taking a ride on a tornado......

Holy Cow.....I can not believe how long it has been for me to actually have time to sit down and post.....I promise there won't be this many days in between posts....well I guess I can not promise too much since Friday we head out of P-Town......Finally Texas Bound.....I can not remember if the motels we are staying at have Internet....oh well I will have ours set up at the new house the day we get there.....I feel like I am on fast forward with everything that has been going on....I still think my head is spinning and to top it off I feel like I have been in a funk lately....and maybe even a little moody.....hmmmm, anyway we have been super busy getting everything ready for the move....WHO knew how much crap we have unpacked since staying at Nana & Grandpa's.....after packing most of the week & weekend....(Only taking out time to watch the Cougs win the Apple Cup!! )......We are almost done all we have left to pack are beds, some toys, bathroom stuff, and some laundry.....Phew!! And not to mention the fact that I have been working my little but off for WSU....(By Choice, I so love my job).....I am making sure I get all my hours done....as I know Shawn and I will need my checks to stay up where they are with Christmas coming and of course interior decorating......Love it.. I know one thing.....I can not wait to change out all the brass in the new house....I just can not stand brass fixtures, door nobs, ceiling fans, hinges.....UGH gross.....(Sorry to all those that love brass).....

So Thanksgiving was good.....it was quiet and small, just us girls, Nana & Grandpa.....Boy were we missing daddy....it was our first holiday apart in the 6 years we have been married (Let alone the 8+ years we have been together)....and man did it SUCK not being together, probably more for Shawn being without all his girls....But Nana and Grandpa were great and made it enjoyable....Thanks Nana and Grandpa!.......Lets just say we will not spend another holiday apart if we can help it...Here are some Turkey day pics......

Helping Grandpa get the Turkey Ready...

Putting the Bird on the BBQ....

I am pleased to tell you that the girls appear to finally be over their monster long colds.....Geesh....it seemed like a month long, they would get better for a day or two and then be sick again......So glad to not have to be wiping nasty noses and reminding my kids to cover their mouth when coughing.....ahhh I am sure they are glad that they are finally over it too.....Well I am off to get to work.....YES, there is always something for me to do these days.....one day (Maybe January) I will be able to slow down....I leave you with some funny pics of the girls....

So I figured out (Thanks Molly!!) that Lila only likes to eat if she can feed herself.....Very happy here eating some Cheerios....Yummy.....

Kiara making her new 'Famous' funny Face

Lila's favorite toys....Yes! Are dog toys..... Mikiah....So happy she is finally tall enough to ride this tricycle

The house.....

Here is the seller's pic of the house.....When I get down there I will take more pics and post since Shawn does not have a camera....But this gives you an idea...and Yes, we are on a corner lot.....I love the Grey Brick Front!

Closing day.....Done and Done...

So in case you didn't already know.....We closed on the house today!!! WOOHOOO! Shawn has the keys and all is good to go......We are officially new home owners.....So thrilled.....So Cheers Everybody!......I am so ready to move down there.....well mentally not actually when it comes to having everything packed.....UGH so much to do.....

So we had the usually Thursday Morning Breakfast Club....So good...we are officially regulars and everyone there loves the girls........I think we will probably go 1 more time before we leave.....I will miss that place....The girls and I will have to pick a new place to be regulars at.....Fun Fun.....

So it turns out that the girls and I will not be able to make over to the west side this weekend, the girls are sick (YES AGAIN)...they have never been sick so much as the past few months.....Its just another cold with runny noses and nasty cough........I can not wait to get down the warmth of Texas, not that it will help but who knows......Anyway everyone I want to see in Seattle has kids and I do not want my girls getting them sick.....plus I also have a ton of packing and WSU work to do......busy, busy, busy....days ahead.....plus the holidays....AHHHH!....

Pullman was insane this morning, Fire Trucks Sirens were a blaring.....I was laying in bed thinking huh.....must be a big fire......and then I heard more when I was sitting on the couch and again thinking huh....really big fire....where the heck is it......but as it turns out it was 4 fires.....The biggest one was the closest to here....right behind Dissmore's Grocery Store.....Just crazy.....for more info check out....Krem 2......

Well I am off to finish watching Grey's.....

Signing my life away.........

So today I got a call from Colfax Security and I was like....HUH....I answered it anyway curious to know what they wanted.....and as it turns out it was an Escrow Agent and Notary guy from Colfax that our title company hired to print out my loan paperwork that was E-Doc'ed to him from San Antonio.....Anyway his job was to bring it to the house and have me sign it so that he could be witness/notarize and FedEx back to San Antonio....just crazy I tell you.....So 'YES' today I signed and initialed what felt like a million pages.....ok so maybe only 30 or so.......but still.....Shawn does the final closing on Thursday when he will have the same task of signing...I wish I could there but oh well.....the good news is closing is not costing as much as initially though....YEAH....More money to buy a washer/drying and Refrigerator.....So I had a glass of wine tonight.....well I am still finishing it right now....a little pre-celebrating while the girls are all sleeping.....Shawn does the final walk thru tomorrow.....AHHHH I can not say it enough.....I am just so thrilled......

Not much else is going on here in P-Town, its been super windy and cold.....and I have just been busy trying to find time ot get everything done....Today I made hotel reservations for the trip down to Texas., made lists of stuff that still needs to be done but I can not really do till I have someone here to watch the girls..........I have also been working on labeling Agpro Christmas Cards for Jerry and Anna (well I get paid too)......trying to keep up on the house stuff......Thank God they have a house cleaner that comes every week.....and especially the day they get back.....AHHHH....so nice.....Someday I tell you......I will live the dream and have one too.....I just find I do not have enough time.....but with our own house maybe I will take pride in cleaning.....hmmm.....who am I kidding.....it would last maybe the first cleaning.....ahhh I will figure it out......

Never enough time in the day.......

The weekend is winding down....I am sitting here watching the Amazing Race, still trying to pick a few favorites....it always takes me a few episodes.....can I tell you how hard the Father is on his daughter.....OH MY WORD, give your daughter some credit.......'Crass' is putting it lightly....

Today blew by....I still can not believe that it is almost 9.00pm...I am beginning to wonder where the day has gone and I am starting to believe that there is not enough time in the day for me to get everything done that I would like.....Seems to be more of a dilemma when I am with the kids by myself.....I assume its because they too need my attention (which is a good thing)....I can't complain too much since I did get to watch a DVD today during nap time......I am just ready to be with Shawn, not only because he is my husband and I am in love with him and miss him, but also for his Daddy duties.....it will be nice to have a equal parent partner again......Ahhh 24 more days till the girls and I walk through the door of our new house.....

So today Mikiah learned the hard way........Little did she know that no dinner equals no dessert....and boy did she want a cupcake....but apparently not bad enough to even try dinner tonight. I made a Chicken Risotto with Spinach, Roasted Peppers, Sun dried Tomatoes, Lemon Juice, Parmesan Cheese, yadah, yadah., sorry I get carried away when talking about food....Anyway, Kiara and I both loved it......but MJ started saying she didn't like risotto before she sat down for dinner.....I tried to get her to try a bite and she was like NO WAY, and left the table.....Lets just say she pitch quite a fit when Kiara was eating her cupcake.....I am expecting Mikiah to be pretty hungry come morning....but I am one of those moms that, Hey if you try it and don't like it then fine maybe I will make you something else, but if you won't even try it then sorry that's what you get......I know my kids and they will eat when they are hungry......Can't wait to see how early MJ gets up......I know she is going to ask for breakfast first thing.....

So cooking dinner is becoming challenging again.....Lila is quite needy off and on these days.....Her top teethe are coming in, I think she has two up there one that poked through today and one getting ready to poke through....plus when I set her down to let her play on the floor she gets pretty frustrated crawling backwards.....She knows she wants to go forward but doesn't and finally after all her frustrations she ends up rolling to where she wants to go.....anyway today I decided it was time for her to join the girls and I in the kitchen....I usually put her in her exer-saucer but not today.....and she had a great time....check out her smile....so cute....

Sous Chef #3

Lets make cupcakes mommy....

So my girls love to cook....They love to measure, they love to stir, they love to mix, and Mikiah's new favorite thing is cracking eggs....she loves it. I have to let her crack them into a bowl so I can pick out a few of the shells.....too funny....Anyway today they helped me make some pancakes for breakfast and then sometime in the afternoon Mikiah wanted to make cupcakes....so we ran (well you know load three kids in the car, load three kids out the car, and then back in the car and back out again!) to the store for some frosting (I could have made some but lets just say I was lazy today and I like the vanilla frosting in the tub!)....All was going well until I had to get out the handheld electric mixer.....MJ freaked out.....she really has a hard time with loud noises....I believe her ears and hearing are sensitive and she sometimes scares easily.....well it was one of those days.....but once I got started with the hand mixer she stopped crying and just covered her ears.....They were so excited to help and had fun filling the cupcake holders....I even let them try to frost but the one's that they frosted I let them eat right away since they pulled the tops right off....So funny.....Mikiah was like "What happened to my cupcake???"....and I was like "Just eat it".....She laughed and ate the whole thing.....Love it....I didn't get picks of them frosting theirs but here are some after shots.....Can we say that Kiara LOVES the frosting.....she wouldn't put it down for the pics..... All in all we have had a good weekend so far.....I just can't stop thinking about moving so exciting but so much to do.....Last night Pat, Karey and Holly came over for dinner and a movie.....we had a great time eating pizza, having a beer (the adults of course) and watching Ratatouille. The girls did pretty well watching the movie, I have been hesitant to take them to the movies because they don't really sit still though whole movies.....but after Friday night I may finally take them to the movies....We'll see.......Well I am off to catch up on some TV and enjoy the fact that all the girls are sleeping.....

Exciting Times.....

Well ......we finally got word that our home loan was fully approved and that everything is set to close on Nov 15th......WOOOHOOOO! We have finally joined all our friends in home ownership.....Shawn and I couldn't be happier.....We found a 4 bedroom with a game room/loft and an open floor plan with vaulted ceilings......We both LOVE it......I just can not wait to get down there and move in..... I must say word to the wise if you move to Texas, be sure to expect to pay a lot on property taxes if you want to live in a good school district.......At least the home prices are decent in San Antonio......Anyway we found a nice neighborhood 3 miles from Shawn's work....and close to everything we need, shopping, library, parks.....I think the home is 5 years old.....more details and pics to come when we get down there.....The girls and I are set to leave P-Town on Nov 30th.....and early 'Thanks' to my Dad (G-Dad) for flying up and driving the moving truck down......

In other good news.....my job is going great and I am working more hours, I am now up to 1/2 time......and it also appears that things will hopefully be moving forward for me to be a permanent part time WSU employee working 20hrs/week. I was/am still going to be working from Texas no matter what but this would move me from temporary employee to permanent.......So another WOOOOHOOOO!.....I seriously love my job and it is so great to work from home.......Thanks Karey!!!

The girls too are getting excited and can not wait to move. They are so ready for us all to be under the same roof.....as am I. I keep telling them the drive down will be long....but they don't seem to care....just wait till we have 1 day of traveling under our belt.....

Lila likes to say "Lila".....

So little Miss Lila loves to say her name....or what sounds like her name...

Living the Single Mom life.....

Ahhh, so its been awhile......Nana and Grandpa headed to Mexico early yesterday, so it is just us girls along with the dogs. Holy Cow, I think I forgot what it was like to do everything. Well, I guess I have never had to do everything since Lila was born. Shawn was always there to help with the dishes, laundry, the kids, the garbage, dog poop picking up......I could go on.....So here I am for the next 11 days living the single mom life.....while trying to keep my sanity.....we shall see how I do. So far Day number 2 is going well.....although Lila loves to sleep with her mom......she will sleep in her crib for about 4-5 hours and then she is like "No WAY" I am not going back in that crib, So I let her lay in bed with me and POOF she is out completely.....must be one of her comforts......should be fun moving and finally getting her into her own room.....I for see some long nights.....ahhh....I love parenting.....

I forgot how chaotic dinner time can be......last night I managed to get it all done...but I had few Lila screaming interruptions, a too helpful Kiara (who can not get enough of washing dishes, she LOVES it and playing in water), and an inquisitive Mikiah (who like to ask questions about everything "What's that Mama....can I taste it???")......Oh how I can not wait to be living with Shawn again.....soon very soon I should have some news on the move.....and what not.....

So I just wanted to check in tell you all that we are doing great.....I am trying to get in as many hours for work as I can so that I will have enough to cover the days when we are moving.....I am off to get some work done.......Oh, and all the other things I have to get done today.....hopefully I will get a shower, I swear its always a challenge if I don't do it first thing in the morning......bye for now.....

Halloween Fun.....

Happy Halloween!!!!.....Well I think we need to disinfect the house....good thing the house cleaner comes tomorrow....all three girls have running noses again....Mikiah is coughing again....UGH!!! I swear they just got over this........So the girls rested all morning and didn't feel like going to the library.....BUMMER.....But after nap they were excited and feeling good so we headed to a Halloween Carnival put on by Pullman Parks and Rec and one of WSU's Sorority.....It was pretty cool......lots of kiddie games and activities for the little ones....the girls had a great time.....We also went trick or treating and Sindy & Greggs and Pat & Karey's.....Fun all the way around....here are some pics.....just have to thank Karey again for the costumes! They were a hit....

Batty Lila

Pink Witchy Mikiah & Purple Witchy Kiara

Let's Carve Pumpkins....

So I feel that I have been slacking in the Halloween dept....maybe its because I don't have any of my decorations out or maybe I have just been really busy or maybe I have just been spacey these days.....who knows....well here it is 2 days before Halloween and I finally had the girls try on some Halloween ideas/outfits.....(Thanks to Karey for bringing me some hand me down costumes, which came in handy this year)....Today the girls and I figured out their costumes.....This year I have twin witches (pink & purple) and a little bat...... Tonight Grandpa carved the girls little pumpkins.....it was fun....the girls tried to draw pumpkin faces on paper.....but Nana ended up drawing a few different one for them to chose.....they turned out great....the girls love them......especially lit....

Getting Ready for winter weather.....

Today was clean up day outside....the girls had a great time helping Nana and Grandpa get their yard picked up and cleaned up for the cold weather to come.....We had a pretty easy day today filled with lots of outside time, nap time, bath time and play time......here are some pics....from the morning clean up.....

Here are the finished cookies from yesterday.....we had to wait till the frosting dried so they could write and color on them with food pens....the girls did pretty good......

On the Lila front...she loves playing with her tongue....she sticks it out, curls it, and just explores with it a bunch.....so cute.....she still hates all food, but I know that will turn around....thank god she still nurses well.....she is also getting her top teeth....as with they way Lila does things she is getting two in at once.....so she has been a little fussy lately.......but that will pass.....

I haven't talked to my brother and his wife yet.....but I am pretty set on heading over to the west side on Nov 16th......I am planning on staying for as long as they will take me.....hahah....I will probably head back to Pullman on Mon or Tues.....(Prolly Tues).....Can't wait to see everyone....it all goes well with the house hunt we should be heading to San Antonio around the 29th of November.....and boy are we excited and ready.....Well, I have a lot to repack but that shouldn't take tooooo long.......

Gotta Love those fall leaves.......

So this morning the girls were up and ready to make cut out sugar cookies with Nana. They loved it.....Nana let the help roll out and cut the cookies.....so cute......some of them were half cookies, ghosts missing part of their bodies because of the way they cut them out....but hey they are still edible....and they did themselves........and we thought they were covered in flour yesterday....you can barely tell that MJ's dress is purple and that Kiara has Minnie Mouse on her shirt.....you should have seen the kitchen and the stool they were standing on......

The weather today was awesome......so sunny and blue skies.....Grandpa did some yard work today with the leaf blower and then got some help from his number 1 helper.....

After these pictures were taken Pat, Karey and Holly came over to watch the Coug game (Yeah a win in the Pac, but I guess this means Doba is off the hot seat for 1 more week)......The girls enjoyed playing in the huge leaf pile with Holly.....they had such a good time...who knew that a FREE, HUGE pile of leaves could be so much fun and entertain for so long.....they came inside with leaves all through their hair and clothes....so funny.....and if it hadn't been for it getting dark outside I am sure they would have stayed out there playing most of the night.....Little do they know that they are going to have to go out in the morning and help Grandpa put them back into a big pile again....aaahhhhh I am sure they will love it.....

Total Slacker.....but I am back....

So I have checked out of blogging for a week and now I am back......I hate to make up excuses but we have been busy working on getting a house......so much stuff to figure out.....it makes me a bit crazy....plus I have been working my max hours......more money and frankly I really love my job.....But I must say I am making time again to blog away......so I should be back to the usual post everyday.....That is until moving day.....

Today was filled with lots of cooking......The girls and Nana were in the kitchen all morning.....They LOVE helping Nana or me in the kitchen....and last weekend Nana/Grandpa bought another stool so they both get to stand on one to help....so cute....This morning they made a quiche for breakfast and then they made a dutch apple pie for dessert....which I hear turned out really good (I am not much of a fruit pie eater)......Their favorite part was of course playing with the flour...they were covered......and then the enjoyed it for and afternoon snack...

Messy Cooks just like their Mama!

While the girls were down for nap Nana and I caught up on some TV Shows......Just love the DVR.....We are behind on a bunch of shows.....which means I am really gonna have to watch some TV and catch up while Nana and Grandpa are gone in Mexico....cause not long after Thanksgiving I believe the girls and I will be FINALLY moving to San Antonio.....Will keep you all posted on the move....I do know that I am planning a trip to the west side the weekend before Thanksgiving weather permitting......So much going on......ahhahahhah!

Well I am off to get some work done.....I just love working from home.....

I know...I know...

Ok, so I have been slacking when it comes to blogging....all with good reason I swear.....So Shawn has been having a great time house hunting....its amazing how many houses he saw in one day....I believe his words were "My head is spinning".....Anyway he saw lots of good stuff and of course the houses that I had been sending him too.....craziness.....There was one that stood out on Saturday that Shawn and I both love....a house with some character, not too big, in a neighborhood that has some great trees, in a great school district, with a yard that the kids can play in and super close to Shawn's work and shopping.....its just nice....Shawn had that feeling of home when he went into it......So we shall see what happens.....

On the Pullman front.....the girls have been great. Lila loves to get up on all 4's from a sitting position and from laying down....I am thinking she will be crawling anytime.....I was hoping she would get up on all 4's in this video....so close.....


She still hates most food....I can add Butternut Squash to the long list of spit in your face foods.....she just hates eating.....Probably a texture thing....who knows....The big girls are having fun playing games and creating art projects......Candyland and painting seem to be their favorites.....So fun to see them get creative.....So we will keep you posted on any news and I promise I will be posting some pics of the girls soon.....

Mega Busy...

So I started this post yesterday (Tuesday) morning and I just never had time to finish it.....Things around here have been a bit hairy.....Mikiah woke up on Monday morning with throw up in her bed......not sure exactly when she threw up. She was better throughout the day and never threw up again (Thank God!).....Last night she had the case of running #2, can we say GROSS!....Poor Girl....Not sure what today holds as she is still sleeping.....

On a brighter note and another reason why I have been so busy is Shawn and I got Pre-Qualified for a home loan!!! So exciting for us....So instead of blogging I have been busy searching for homes in good neighborhoods for Shawn to go check out this weekend with our Realtor....Am I scared leaving most of the home buying decisions with Shawn?...NOPE...Am I nervous that he will pick something out that I won't want?? NOPE....He knows what I want and what we need...So I entrust him with making those big decisions....plus I know when he walks into the right house he will know.....There may be a chance that Lila and I will fly down to see a bunch but we might have to act fast so there may not be any time for that......We shall see.......But we are excited.....Would love to be down there soon.....

Besides taking care of sick kiddos and looking for houses.....I have actually been busy working for WSU.....I am loving my job and love being able to do it pretty much anytime of the day.....Karey and I are currently trying to figure out if it will be possible for me to keep it when we move....Talk about a plus....I would love too and she knows that....so we shall see!!!.....

Just wanted to give you all an update on what was new in our world.....by the way Shawn is loving his new job.....and of course can not wait for us to be down there....

Sunny Fall Weekend.....

Oh how I LOVE fall. It will be the one season that I will really miss when we move to San Antonio....nothing beats crisp fall sunny weather and the leaves turning....we had a wonderful weather weekend here in the Palouse......today was a warm and sunny but nothing like the weather we will be having in San Antonio.....it sure will take some time to get use to....lets just say its suppose to be 90 in San Antonio this Tuesday....insane....

Yesterday we got up and went to WSU Organic Farm and WSU Tukey Orchard to celebrate harvest by checking out the U-Pick Pumpkin Patch and we also went to pick some apples. The girls had a great time picking out their pumpkins and man there were tons of kids there.....(I believe its the only U-Pick Patch in Pullman).....I tried to get Kiara and Mikiah to pick out good size pumpkins but they knew what they wanted and that was small little Jack O Lanterns.....They are looking forward to making faces on them so Grandpa can carve them......After pumpkin picking (btw it the two little pumpkins cost $1.05 total).....it was off to sign our life away for everyone so that we could enter the orchard and pick apples....the girls absolutely loved it.....they picked so many we came home with two big bags....12-13lbs of apples.....we will be eating apples till they grow out of our ears....Oh well I suppose I should cook one down for Lila she hasn't had apples yet.....she hates everything....today I made her some oatmeal cereal.....lets just say I had to wipe my face too....she loves spitting it back at you and she is good at it too....she definitely has some range! Good news is she is still nursing great and growing fast.......Here are some pics from Saturday......

The Breakfast Club anyone???

Now I don't mean the 80's 'Brat Pack' movie, although I do love all those 80's movies....anyway what I am getting at is the girls and I enjoyed another great breakfast at The Breakfast Club in Moscow.......Its is becoming our Thursday morning routine.....The house cleaner comes around 8.00am so it works our perfect.....Then like today we usually head to a park afterwards....the girls love to play at the park.....we lucked out today with some nice weather it was sunny and clear....although I am sure there will come a Thursday when the weather is crappy and we will need to find something else today....I suppose it is time to check out city play sessions and what not.....We didn't do too much else today....The girls bodies must be trying to nip these colds.....All three of them took really good afternoon naps....which allowed a sick Nana Anna (Poor Nana) and me to catch up on some DVR recordings.....A litte Private Practice.....which I am really liking, I always liked Addison on Grey's.....and we watched my favorite new show off the fall (besides Private Practice) Dirty Sexy Money.....I just love it......So fun.....All in all pretty low keyed day.....I did play a round of Candyland with the girls.......and Karey came over for a beer.....Love Beer Thursday.....And now I think I am off to watch my soap (since Greys is being recorded for Nana and I to watch together).....and I think I will do some filing for work too....I could use the hours this pay period.....I am outta here.....